The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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