fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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