is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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