Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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