I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize