Having a random hookup so left but love u
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
