He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
