let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
