if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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