More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
