When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
