even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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