you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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