kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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