I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
