Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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