So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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