I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
