"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
