It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
