I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
