i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
