Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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