This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
