i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
