You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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