then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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