we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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