this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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