You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
