Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
