5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
