I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
