? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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