That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my shit smells like andre
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
