your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
