He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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