im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
