Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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