Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
