I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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