Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize