fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
