Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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