I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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