Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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