yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
