I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
