oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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