Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize