Kareoke will never be a sober sport
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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