did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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