Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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