I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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