Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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