By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
