Kiss
Puke
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
