You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize
