Apparently you make a good broom.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
