i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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