he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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