That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
