Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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